The American Empire if Led by Donald Trump: Would He Be a Fictional Roman Emperor?

No, I don’t think Trump would meet the same fate as many Roman Emperors did. He has the financial resources to keep the Praetorian Guard satisfied, and if he continues to do so, there shouldn’t be any internal disturbances within the palace. However, the question arises: could he manage the complex bureaucracy and institutions of the Roman Empire effectively? The answer is unlikely, given his lack of deep understanding and intelligence. Yet, he would be a figurehead, with the Praetorians handling the significant administrative and military tasks behind the scenes.

The Praetorian Guard’s Role in Trump’s Success as Emperor?

The Praetorian Guard would be crucial in ensuring Trump’s success and survival. As a puppet leader, they would have more control and see that their interests are well represented. The Praetorians might see Trump’s lack of intelligence as an advantage because it would make it easier for them to manipulate and control him. After all, they would be the ones making all the crucial decisions.

Would This Be Good for the Empire?

This arrangement would likely be disastrous for the Roman Empire. History has shown that when the Praetorian Guard’s power grew unchecked, the empire suffered from mismanagement and purges. For instance, Sejanus, the Prefect of the Praetorian Guard, wielded a significant amount of power and engaged in severe mismanagement and bloodiest purges. In Trump’s case, there would be no one to appeal to, as the Praetorians would silence any dissenting voices.

Ave Princeps Trumpus Augustus!

Donaldus Trumpus Stultus as a Successful Roman Emperor?

Contrary to popular belief, some of the same qualities that made Donaldus Trumpus Stultus a terrible president could make him a good Roman emperor:

He knows the value of entertainment. A reality show like The Apprentice Gladiator would have captured the public imagination, boosting Trump's popularity. Efficiency through brutal means. He could use Roman-style bread and circuses to maintain public support, such as providing Trump Steak Panis. Foreign relations. His hostile approach to foreign nations would align with the Roman tradition of threatening Parthia. Roman Lifestyle. Trump’s social pursuits would be quite ordinary for a Roman emperor. Hiring Practices. Trump’s methods would be no stranger than Caligula making his horse a Senator. Construction. Trump could continue the tradition of fortifying borders, building walls that once made sense. Immigration Policy. Though Trump would need to reverse course on immigration, he has done worse in the past.

Conclusion

While Trump might not be seen as the ideal candidate to lead the Roman Empire due to his intelligence and understanding, other factors might contribute to his success. The Praetorian Guard could see him as a useful figurehead, and his existing qualities could bridge the gap. However, this arrangement would not be good for the empire’s long-term health, as it would lead to mismanagement and the abuse of power.