Proper Terms for Family Relationships: Calling My Dad’s Cousin

Understanding and correctly using family relationship terms can be a bit confusing, especially when it comes to extended family members like a parent’s cousin. In this article, we will explore the correct terms for various relationships and explore different cultural variations.

Calling Your Dad's Cousin: Uncle or Great Uncle?

There is no formal title for a dad’s cousin.

Traditionally, when I was growing up, I called the parents’ cousins “Uncle” or “Aunt.” I was told this was the correct way to address them, and although I was unsure if it was entirely accurate, it became the norm in my household. However, if you delve deeper into the family tree, you might find that the correct term could be “Great Uncle” or “Great Aunt” if they are two generations removed from your father.

Second Cousins: The Relationship to Your Dad

Your dad’s cousin is your second cousin. He or she is the child of your father’s first cousin. It’s important to note that despite being in the second generation, if you grew up knowing them, they might have been recognized and called as an “Uncle” or “Aunt” due to their age being closer to your parents’ generation.

Since they are a cousin of your father, they are also a cousin to you. If your dad’s cousin is a first cousin, then you are the second cousin to them. Some first cousins might call this relationship “Uncle” or “Aunt” because they are around the same age as the parents or older.

Formal and Informal Titles: First Names or Family Titles?

The best way to address your dad’s cousin will depend on cultural norms, personal preferences, and the specific relationship dynamics.

Some people, especially in the South, might refer to a collaborator’s cousin as “Cousin John” or use their first name. This approach is personal and flexible. My children, for example, call my mother’s first cousin as “Aunt So and So.” I, on the other hand, choose to use their first names directly, ensuring a more personal and informal way of addressing them.

In overall, the key is to be consistent and respectful, aligning with the cultural and personal preferences of the individuals involved. Whether you opt to use a formal title like “Aunt” or “Uncle” or the personal first name, the most important aspect is that you show respect and maintain a positive relationship with all members of your extended family.

Conclusion

Understanding and correctly using family relationship terms is essential for clear communication and respectful family interactions. Knowing the distinctions between “cousin,” “Uncle,” and “Aunt” can help you navigate complex family structures and cultural norms. By respecting these terms and using them appropriately, you can foster stronger, healthier relationships with your extended family members.