Why Do Couples Stay Married: A Reflection on Love, Inertia, and Acceptance

Marriage, a relationship where two individuals immerse their lives in each other, often binds their lives together through mutual efforts. Once the inertia of a shared life is established, it can be challenging to undo. This inertia requires a monumental input of energy to alter, making breaking up seem like a monumental effort.

A Personal Journey of Love and Commitment

I have been married for 62 wonderful years, experiencing the full spectrum of life's ups and downs. Throughout this time, love and happiness have been the constant companions. My wife and I weathered storms together, growing stronger through our shared journey. Her passing on February 13, 2022, was a profound loss that left an irreplaceable void in my life. However, our marriage was built on a foundation of love, respect, and mutual understanding, making the decision to stay together a natural choice.

Misconceptions and Realities of Marriage

Sometimes, people believe that divorce is a taboo or a finality once married. The vows often imply staying together through both the good and the bad. However, not all marriages are equal. Some marriages are built on solid ground, while others may crumble under the weight of personal ambitions, financial stress, and emotional incompatibility. In my experience, those who stay together face challenges but ultimately find a balance that sustains them.

My Story: A Partnership of Equality and Acceptance

My wife and I had a harmonious partnership, where we respected each other's boundaries and made compromises. Initially, there was a tendency for me to make decisions without consulting her, driven by a sense of superiority. However, this approach led to unnecessary tension and conflict. We eventually realized that true partnership is about mutual respect and equal participation. We maintained separate accounts to manage finances, which prevented unnecessary disputes and allowed us to work together seamlessly.

One particularly significant aspect of our relationship was our shared interests. She had a passion for sewing and knitting, which I initially let her pursue alone. Recognizing that this could create resentment, I decided to join her and learn about fabrics, yarn, and the intricacies of clothing construction. Similarly, I shared my knowledge of cooking with her and vice versa. This not only strengthened our bond but also made our relationship a continual learning experience.

The Pillars of a Successful Marriage

The cornerstone of a lasting and happy marriage lies in the several elements of true love, respect, patience, and tolerance. My twin sisters invariably reminded us of God's role, stating that mere tolerance of each other's faults is a key aspect of marital bliss. We accepted each other's imperfections, understanding that we are all human and children of God. Religion, in our case, became a unifying force that brought us closer as a family.

With any marriage, challenges will surface, from financial disagreements to personal choices. However, it is the ability to accept and adapt that can make the difference between a lasting relationship and one that withers over time.