How to Praise Someone Effectively: A Case Study of a 10-Year Anniversary

It's exciting to see someone excelling at something they love. " "Here’s a simple but profound example of how to make someone feel appreciated by saying the right thing at the right time. On a significant 10-year anniversary, a woman's heart was on the line. She had spent hours shopping for the perfect outfit, carefully selecting every accessory and applying just the right amount of makeup. She had every hope that her husband would notice and appreciate all of her efforts.

A Special Night RuINED by a Missed Compliment

On a cozy evening, her husband sat glued to the TV, watching the absorbing game of his favorite NBA team, the Golden State Warriors. As exciting as the game was, his wife cautiously ventured a question that she had been dying to ask. She firmly believed that her carefully curated outfit and makeup would be enough to win his praises. However, the game of significance was about to be overshadowed by a missed opportunity.

Lessons from Warren Buffett's Wisdom

According to Warren Buffett, in his letters to shareholders, "Praise specifically, criticize generally." This principle is especially relevant in this scenario. The husband, who is a great admirer of Warren Buffett, has taken this advice to heart. He realized that while it was disappointing to miss a game-changing shot by Kevin Durant (let us imagine it was Durant for the sake of the story), the importance of his relationship with his wife far outweighed any game of basketball.

A Tailored Compliment

So what did he do? He stepped away from the excitement of the game and turned his attention to his wife. He began by observing her, taking notes on the subtle details that made her look stunning. He observed the curls in her hair, the diamond earrings that complemented her necklace, and the new black dress that he had never seen before. He then noted the way it accentuated her lovely figure and the heels that completed her outfit. He also admired the subtle makeup that accentuated her eyes and lips, recognizing that she was beautiful without it too. However, he knew that simply saying, "You look beautiful" would feel like a copout and would not be specific or impactful enough.

Imagine a Woman's Surprise

The wife, who had built her hopes on a moment of validation, asked again, her anticipation growing with each moment. She had hoped for something unique and specific, something that would show how much her effort was appreciated. Moments like these can be make or break for a relationship, and the husband's thoughtful and specific compliment was a game-changer. He conveyed his appreciation with a smile, saying, "You look simply breathtaking tonight, just like the incredible shot by your favorite player, Durant."

The Power of Specific Compliments

This experience underscores the importance of being specific when praising someone. Whether it's a personal relationship or a professional setting, taking the time to notice and acknowledge the little things that a person does makes them feel special and validated. It's through these tailor-made praises that we can make someone feel genuinely appreciated.

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Image by Drazen Zigic from Freepik

In conclusion, the art of praising someone effectively lies in being specific. It's about recognizing and highlighting the effort and details that a person puts into their appearance, their work, or their efforts. By doing so, we can leave a lasting impression and strengthen the bonds of our relationships.